A month ago, I went to my ACC class and only one of my classmates was there because we were early. He said “how are you?” to me. Although I were getting used to this question, I still can’t answer on the spot because I didn’t feel very good on that day. I thought that he was expecting a positive answer and stopping this topic; however, I didn’t want to lie. After replying “so so,” he started to ask about what happened. I didn’t really get sick so I didn’t know how to response, just ending the conversation with few words. I guessed that he might think that I am not a friendly person and the atmosphere was kind of getting freeze. It also happened when I went to HEB. I am always confused about how to reply the cashier.
I’ve attend a speech, which talked about adjusting to American life. The speaker told us that when Americans ask you “how are you,” it is not a question. They are just saying hello. Sometimes they even don’t give you a chance to reply and say “good” at the same time because they expect that you will answer “good” and ask back “how are you.” They don’t care about your answer actually. I was shocked when hearing this because I always answer this question seriously. Nevertheless, when I recalled what we ask in Chinese to say hello, I found something interesting.
Unlike Americans asking “how are you,” we ask “have you eaten?” in Chinese. If someone answers yes, then we can start the conversation with discussing the food he or she ate. On the other hand, if someone answers no, we can invite him or her having a dish or a snack. However, we won’t ask this question to a stranger such as a cashier because it will take longer time. I guess the reason for the difference between the way to say hello is that Americans and Chinese have different definition of friends. While Americans tend to have many friends even without deep relationship, Chinese tend to have several friends with really deep relationship. Therefore, Americans ask “how are you?” to everyone and want to get a quick answer showing that we are friends. I think that I still need time to get used of this.
Hey Laurie!
回覆刪除I understand why you were shocked after you realize that hey actually don't care how you are feeling. In Chile, it is the same, everybody asks "how are you" when they say hi; however, they don't really care.
On one hand, I think maybe you should try to take it as a way of being nice and enjoy the good energy that they are giving through their words.
On the other hand, what I try to do is to separate people. I know my friends are interested on my mood, so when they ask me I answer the truth. If I am at HEB and the cashier ask me "how are you?" I will probably lie. Nevertheless, I believe it is a nice experiment to answer, "bad" and see what they tell you. Maybe that person has something very precious they can share with you and make you feel better!
I should try next time if there isn't a long line~ Thank you for your advice!
回覆刪除Hey!!
回覆刪除I have the same problem. To tell the truth, I still cannot feel familiar with that expression. So instead of being confused about it, I try to be the first one who ask that question, so I don't need to answer it. :D It works for me...kkk...
To think about the way I use to say "hi" to my friends in Vn, I just simply look at them, make an eye contact and then smile. That's it!! :D